Is it possible to hide that you’re FWB with someone? I believe it’s not because there is always someone who’ll pick up the vibe.
So, are you reading this article because your friends are a bit iffy when you ask about their love life? Or because you’re trying to hide your special buddy?
Whatever the reason is, I’ll spill some tea and reveal to you the things that may expose FWB. In case you’re trying to hide yours, make sure you don’t do any of the following things, and behave just like you did before the two of you became a thing.
Being FWB with someone from the same group of friends can be tricky. Even though they’re trying to keep things low-key, some subtle things can still expose them. Have you caught them secretly caressing each other’s hand? Or is it too obvious that they’re doing their best to avoid each other?
Reading their body language and noticing the unspoken words will help you crack the code and expose them. So, here’s what you need to look for.
1. They get uncomfortable when talking about relationships
They’re out with their crew, spending Saturday night in a local pub, and of course, nothing weird is happening. Well, at least until someone starts talking about relationships and love life. The second that happens, they will shudder.
Not because they have bad memories (or maybe they do, who am I to judge), but because they know they have a secret. They’ll try to change the topic or give vague answers without being specific about what’s happening with their love life.
Of course, that’s suspicious. Especially if you know how open they both used to be about their love life. Now, they choose to stay silent which is weird.
2. They avoid each other when they go out with mutual friends
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that they don’t want to spend time with the same group of people. But you know how people who are in love gravitate towards each other when they are with friends?
They tend to sit close to each other, they talk a lot about various topics and it’s clear to everybody that something beautiful is bound to happen there. But, if they’re doing their best to avoid each other, it’s because they know their friends may figure out what’s happening.
This may be weird to the rest of the crew, because once they used to sit right next to each other, but nowadays, they’re on completely opposite sides of the table.
This behavior implies two things: they either got in a big fight and are trying to pretend that everything is fine, or they’re hiding something from their friends.
3. They smile at each other whenever they make eye contact (but that’s super rare!)
We’ve already established that if two people are FWB, they’ll avoid each other. However, if you’re good at reading body language, you’ll be able to notice some subtle signs that there is, in fact, something happening between the two of them.
If you pay close attention, you’ll be able to notice how these two smile at each other with the corners of their lips. Maybe the smile won’t be as visible, but it’ll surely be obvious. Even though they’ll try to avoid eye contact or any kind of touch, in fact, it’ll be easy to see it.
For someone who’s good at reading people, this will be a piece of cake as this is one of the biggest mistakes these “buddies” tend to make.
4. He suddenly offers to take her home
One of the best things a man can do for a woman is to walk her home or give her a ride. That’s the real courtesy right there! However, if that’s something new, everybody in their social circle will notice and start joking about it.
Even if they’re not dating, he’ll want to make sure she’s safe. Therefore, he’ll be the one to pick her up when they have to go and double-check if she’s arrived home safely.
This usually signifies that these two are either dating or that they are FWB.
5. The mood changes when someone mentions a potential lover
How do they behave when someone mentions a new, potential lover? Are they taking it calmly, or do you notice jealousy in their eyes (even if we all know that it shouldn’t happen)?
If they’re just friends, she shouldn’t reject that drink another guy just ordered for her, or be mad because he’s dancing with the girl who held his hand before he took her to the dancefloor.
When two people are FWB and trying to hide it, their friends will sense mood shifts every time one of them tries to flirt with a stranger. If jealousy is present (and it wasn’t so obvious before), people will easily realize what’s happening.
6. They are always each other’s +1
Recently, it became an unwritten rule that they’re each other’s plus one. Wherever one of them goes somewhere, the other person is there as well.
If he’s having a celebration at his company, he’ll ask her to go with him. When she needs a +1 for her friend’s wedding, he’ll gladly jump in.
Of course, they’ll act like it’s not a big deal and as if they’re doing something every friend would do. But, how many men would go to a wedding party with their gal pal? Not a big number, right? And, why on Earth would a woman follow her friend to a party with software geeks and risk feeling stupid?
If two of them are spending a lot of time together and being each other’s go-to person, the chances are very high that they are FWB (or maybe even more than that).
7. They got each other’s back when there is some kind of an argument
Let’s set the scene. The group of friends is hanging around together and the discussion arises out of nowhere.
There are two people who are constantly backing up each other’s back. That wouldn’t be the problem if those two weren’t the ones picking fights before. Fishy, isn’t it?
Friends with benefits will try to overcome the differences they have and they’ll definitely try to protect each other. Most of the time it will be unintentional and that’s what may actually help others around them to reveal their secret.
8. They slip up little things about the other person in casual conversations
Friends with benefits spend a lot of time together. That’s the reason why they know a thing or two about each other that none of their buddies from the group know. And that can expose them.
They may slip up little things about the other person while they’re casually talking with someone else. Like, what’s their favorite color, or how the other person looks good in particular pants or shirt.
If you’re trying to hide your FWB, this is for you…
I know that you don’t want to be obvious, but how did you behave towards each other before being FWB? Go back to that!
If you were fighting like Tom and Jerry, keep it that way. Don’t overdo it though, because that may also indicate that something is happening between the two of you.
If you want to make sure the other person got home safely, separate where you usually would and then meet a couple of blocks away. That way, none of your friends will suspect anything.
Try to minimize the obvious jealousy if you want to keep this “relationship” secret. Keep acting the same way as you used to before, sit next to each other, laugh together, and play video games in pairs with your crew. Don’t avoid it now that something is going on between the two of you.
And well, in the end, I hope you’ll get together with your FWB as most amazing relationships started exactly this way. Good luck!